evolving

its like its been contorted
it seems to have met a change
its like it almost left me
and as though its not the same

what i want seems different
what i see is something new
a lifestyle i once had
is now becoming something i never knew

i new level of peace
i new level of high
i new sense of release
my hands at my side

its not to say i've lost completly
what is i once help dear
more so i 've traded in the whiskey
and inturn traded in the beer

i would like to think that i can still hold my own
pretty sure i always will
but its a different road i travel
looking for a different fill

so many make assumptions
based on who i used to be
so many seemed confused
with the peace surrounding me

i worry not about that tho
i know it will be clear
i enjoy a life without a haze more often
and simply stated i am here

i feel a lot of bob dylan coming on....so part 1

this song has always said alot to me.....

Song to Woody
Bob Dylan
1962


I'm out here a thousand miles from my home,
Walkin' a road other men have gone down.
I'm seein' your world of people and things,
Your paupers and peasants and princes and kings.

Hey, hey Woody Guthrie, I wrote you a song
'Bout a funny ol' world that's a-comin' along.
Seems sick an' it's hungry, it's tired an' it's torn,
It looks like it's a-dyin' an' it's hardly been born.

Hey, Woody Guthrie, but I know that you know
All the things that I'm a-sayin' an' a-many times more.
I'm a-singin' you the song, but I can't sing enough,
'Cause there's not many men that done the things that you've done.

Here's to Cisco an' Sonny an' Leadbelly too,
An' to all the good people that traveled with you.
Here's to the hearts and the hands of the men
That come with the dust and are gone with the wind.

I'm a-leaving' tomorrow, but I could leave today,
Somewhere down the road someday.
The very last thing that I'd want to do
Is to say I've been hittin' some hard travelin' too

a little green

Latley it seems that going green
Has become the newest fashion thing
Good or bad
Its what we have

Paging through the magazine
I see the earth in everything
But the paper is still waxed and coated
Even if the products being promoted
Are covered in green

Little steps are were we begin
But its consciouness that find
We can wear it on our chest
But if we don’t believe the rest
Really, is that still kind

Because the trucks that bring those products still pollute the air
And the people that buy those products still don’t understand that there’s privelege there
The world that is being marketed to me
Is one that I can barely even see
So much I don’t understand
Why they are still trying to discover new land
Instead of just letting it be

Glad to see we are getting somewhere
But I beg that its not the end
Our world is shrinking
And we are losing the abilty to expand

So lets expand the conscoiuness
Lets expand the time
Lets make something of what this is
And lets believe in what we find

i love this song....

this song is from the musical follies by stephen sondheim....the musical is kind of a walk down memeory lane when an old theater is set to be demolished. the song really just makes me smile.....


Good times and bum times,I've seen them all and,
my dear,I'm still here.
Plush velvet sometimes,
Sometimes just pretzels and beer,
But I'm here.I've stuffed the dailies
In my shoes.
Strummed ukuleles,Sung the blues,
Seen all my dreams disappear,
But I'm here.I've slept in shanties,
Guest of the W.P.A.,But I'm here.
Danced in my scanties,Three bucks a night was the pay,
But I'm here.
I've stood on bread lines
With the best,
Watched while the headlines
Did the rest.
In the Depression was I depressed?
Nowhere near.
I met a big financier
And I'm here.
I've been through Gandhi,Windsor and Wally's affair,
And I'm here.
Amos 'n' Andy,Mah-jongg and platinum hair,
And I'm here.
I got through Abie'sIrish Rose,
Five Dionne babies,Major Bowes,
Had heebie-jeebies
For Beebe'sBathysphere.
I lived through Brenda Frazier
And I'm here.
I've gotten through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover,
Gee, that was fun and a half.
When you've been through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover,
Anything else is a laugh.
I've been through Reno.
I've been through Beverly Hills,And I'm here.
Reefers and vino,
Rest cures, religion and pills,
And I'm here
Been called a pinko
Commie tool,Got through it stinko
By my pool.
I should have gone to an acting school.
That seems clear,Still, someone said,
"She's sincere,"So I'm here.
Black sable one day.
Next day it goes into hock,
But I'm here.T
op billing Monday,Tuesday you're touring in stock,
But I'm here.
First you're anotherSloe-eyed vamp,
Then someone's mother,Then you're camp.
Then you career from career
To career.
I'm almost through my memoirs.
And I'm here.I've gotten through
"Hey, lady, aren't you whoozis?
Wow! What a looker you were.
"Or, better yet, "Sorry, I thought you were whoozis.
Whatever happened to her?"
Good times and bum times,
I've seen 'em all and, my dear,I'm still here.
Flush velvet sometimes,Sometimes just pretzels and beer,
But I'm here.I've run the gamut.A to Z.
Three cheers and dammit,C'est la vie.
I got through all of last year
And I'm here.
Lord knows, at least I was there,
And I'm here!
Look who's here!I'm still here!

****i miss the theater....a lot......

a question

so....is it a ppropriate to encourage someone to do something you believe to be unhealthy even if you yourself do it.....does that make a person a bigot....what if you are making that point to an 8th grader....does that still make you a bigot....is it wrong to encourage them to wait to be older before they experience something. i believe that we can give them words of wisdom without putting ourselves out. i mean i can tell someone its not good to drink all the time even if i plan on drinking tonight, because i am not an 8th grader....i think that is what they miss the most.

when do we begin to see the way cause really responds to affect....and is there a way to heighten that sooner. i feel that we are moving away from living and more looking for an excuse to not have to live.

which
and how
does it matter now

mine
and yours
seeing open doors

tonight
its fine
I leave it all behind

will
you meet me
under the oak tree

share
and care
keep the weather fair

ask
respond
tomorrow I’ll be gone

choice
my voice
I’m moving on

will we meet
again
when the age doesn't factor in
in a place so near
but beyond what you see clear

this is where i work

so a great portion of what happens to me is a direct result of me working at a middle school....it is quite the population....this post however is about the adults that join me in the educating of middle schoolers.....so here we go:
bathrooms...this school has 2 sets of public bathrooms for the students, one upstairs and one downstairs....they are for the students and the occasional staff that does not have the time to get to teh teachers lounge where there are a womans and mens private restroom. whats so amusing to me is the decor of said restrooms. on my first day i walked into a pink and white room that has a polka dot trim going up a about half way. it is decorated in all "you go girl" and "hey sister" type stuff....and pinker than the day is long. now then mens room conversely because of course i use it when the womens is occupied is decorated in fishing....yes fishing...there is a net and rustic whatnot hanging up on the wall....now i have two main points about this....
A. i am curious as to who decorated them. perhaps the office lady who is a devout christian, and rather feminine...unknown...i just think it is interesting that we can claim to be open and toterant, but we as adults still adhere to some archaic forms of what gender means....thats what confuses me...i mean its not the worst thing in the world, but its the fact that it is not even a thought to most people that that acts as a reinforcement of gender stereotypes....i mean do all woman like to shop and be pink...i don't think so....are all men into fishing...really.

B. When i mentioned to another female coworker that then mens room is done up in fishing they were shocked....shocked because they had never been in it before....i mean really...we are adults, these are private one room stalls in the lounge does it matter which one we use....i don't really think so....plus there are about half the number of men as women working here....if both restooms where simply unisex would that makes everyones like easier....just a thought....

youth of america

i think that i may never see
quite what it is that surrounds me
by the time you finally realize
by then you have dropped your disguise
and now its time to recognize
that life isn't trying to paralize
who you want to be

remember the when of yesterday
when you were simply pushed away
remember the when of tomorrow
when you will know just where to go
but remember mostly the when of now
thats the time that makes the most of it all

greetings

every time we turn our head
there is something more to see
everytime we climb into bed
there is somewhere we hope to be
what is past what is there
but still within right now
what is filling the colored air
what else is to be allowed